The Roles We Play
Do we know what roles we play at each moment?
Am I a sister, a daughter, a friend, a wife, a mother, a father, a husband, a son, a brother, a woman, a man? Or a patient, a healer, a scientist, a poet, an employee, an employer? A speaker, a listener, a reader, a writer, a teacher, a student? A leader, a follower, a rebellion, a realistic or a dreamer? I am sure, one can identify many of those roles that they play and much more. So, beyond the roles, is there something else? Wouldn’t it be a valid question to ask: who am I beyond the roles? beyond the thing (thing-think i.e. thought)?
The answer cannot be found in thought which is limited, and the language is one of its forms.
Linguistic Insight
One may want to investigate the formation of thought as it relates to the formation of the idea of a self and therefore unfold a path to realization of what is beyond the self. For this purpose, I would like to propose a linguistic insight as a direct link to the formation of thought with an example of the origins of the word “Think” and “Thing”.
Here is an extract on the origin of the word “Think” as a verb:
“Old English þencan “imagine, conceive in the mind; consider, meditate, remember; intend, wish, desire” (past tense þohte, past participle geþoht), probably originally “cause to appear to oneself,” from Proto-Germanic *thankjan (source also of Old Frisian thinka, Old Saxon thenkian, Old High German denchen, German denken, Old Norse þekkja, Gothic þagkjan).
Old English þencan is the causative form of the distinct Old English verb þyncan “to seem, to appear” (past tense þuhte, past participle geþuht), from Proto-Germanic *thunkjan (source also of German dünken, däuchte). Both are from PIE *tong- “to think, feel” which also is the root of thought and thank.
The two Old English words converged in Middle English and þyncan “to seem” was absorbed, except for its preservation in archaic methinks “it seems to me.”
As a noun, think, “act of prolonged thinking,” is attested by 1834. The figurative thinking cap is attested from 1839.”
Source: https://www.etymonline.com/word/think?ref=etymonline_crossreference
The origin of the word itself, then, comes from “imagination” i.e. a concept of the mind, a memory or a wish! In fact, one can link it to a time gap between the reality and the concept! Either a concept that is formed in the mind which requires time to be formed, or a memory of the past or a wish for the future. All of which associate a time factor, although they can only happen in the present.
Another interesting linguistic insight is the origin of the word “thing”; when traced to the Germanic word meaning “appointed time”. See the full derivation here: https://www.etymonline.com/word/thing
Moreover, one of the word’s meaning -recorded from 1972- is, “what’s stylish or fashionable” and “Do your thing” attested as “follow your particular predictions” from 1841.
In another post, I have suggested what if the language is made of “verbing” i.e. no object-subject. A very difficult task to do indeed, if you try it out! It seems to require a deconstruction of the mind-language first then finding what’s happening and try to describe what’s happening i.e. constructing a new language. It almost feels like the best option is then to be silent and observe the happening (the verbing)! That there is no point of describing! The language becomes unnecessary and insufficient.
Beyond the Thought
So back to the question then, who am I beyond the thought?! Or what DOING (is) beyond the thought?
This seems to be a very difficult yet important enquiry for each one of us. And one would find it impossible to describe to another or even to oneself. It is simply indescribable and cannot be contained in words. For that, I would make a different attempt which is based on a question arose with a brief study of Astrology.
In Astrology, the astrologer attempts to “read” the person’s qualities, life events, tendencies, etc. through a series of charts. One of the most important charts is called a “natal chart”, which means the chart mapping the planets and stars location relative to the person (the center of the chart) at the time of his/ her birth. Now the question is, when would you consider the time of birth? Is it when the person took his first breath or is it when the baby was conceived?
So, following this path of enquiry, a question arises: When were you born? Was it when you took your first breath? Or when you were conceived? Or was it when your parents met? Or their great grandparents overcame certain obstacles or moved from one place to another and met each other? Or was it when blue-green algae created Oxygen on Earth? Or when Earth developed an atmosphere? And that goes on to the furthest point of time that scientific mind was able to discover and reason.
That is exactly about how much one can write and describe! Beyond that, is the point beyond the mind, is the point beyond the language, beyond the physical, beyond the concept-form! The “beyond-self” that can only be experienced!
I find it intriguing observing children as they “learn”; as it seems to me that children are the closest version of ourselves to the “truth” or the “experience”. This spontaneity that seems effortless, that is renewed each moment and is prior to the corruption that is passed onto the child. The corruption that causes the development of a self-image and later a neurotic state which the person may or may not become aware of and get out from.
“Who am I beyond the thought?” is by no means a trivial enquiry. It requires a tremendous energy, and it exerts a further greater energy. And follow that with a why, why asking this question?!!! An enquiry that would create an evolution on its own.